Wife

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife,
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs that you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and sincerely hope that you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,
You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Since you are the mathematician, you will appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.

It's hard for me to imagine myself as a wife someday. I think it was easier for my mother to imagine her future that way.

I say I say I say

My wife went to the West Indies
Jamaica?
No she went of her own accord.

Sadie was on her deathbed, with her husband Morris at her side. He held her cold hand as silent tears streamed down his face. »Morris,« she said, weakly. »Hush, my shaina maidel « he interrupted. »Sha, don't talk.« But she insisted. »Morris,« she continued. »Before I should die, I have something that I have to confess to you.« »There is nothing to confess,« said the weeping Morris. »It's all right. Everything's all right.« »No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Morris, that I have been unfaithful to you.« Burt stroked her hand. »Now, Sadie, don't be concerned. I know all about it,« he sobbed. »You do?« she gasped. "Sure. Why else would I poison you?