Amount of texts to »funny« 41, and there are 38 texts (92.68%) with a rating above the adjusted level (-3)
Average lenght of texts 236 Characters
Average Rating 1.683 points, 10 Not rated texts
First text on Apr 15th 2000, 11:46:27 wrote
Groggy groove about funny
Latest text on Apr 7th 2009, 18:03:23 wrote
Werner about funny
Some texts that have not been rated at all
(overall: 10)

on Jul 24th 2003, 09:01:22 wrote
Greg about funny

on Sep 9th 2001, 02:00:55 wrote
scharping about funny

on Dec 13th 2006, 17:08:56 wrote
koky about funny

Random associativity, rated above-average positively

Texts to »Funny«

Greenie wrote on Apr 29th 2000, 16:31:27 about

funny

Rating: 20 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

English is a Funny Language


Let's face it – English is a funny language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese... One blouse, 2 blice?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a »slim chance« and a »fat chance« be the same, while a »wise man« and »wise guy« are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while »quite a lot« and »quite a few« are alike? How can the weather be »hot as hell« one day and »cold as hell« another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It's not my fault, the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

Groggy groove wrote on Apr 24th 2000, 19:20:45 about

funny

Rating: 6 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

Philip Castle, in Kurt Vonnegut´s »Cat´s Cradle« (1963), is remembering how, during a terrible plague, he and his father walked among bodies piled high inside and outside of a jungle hospital:

It was all we could do to find a live patient to treat. In bed after bed we found dead people.
»And Father started giggling,« Castle continued.
»He couldn´t stop. He walked out into the night with his flashlight. He was still giggling. He was making the flashlight beam dance over all the dead people stacked outside. He put his hand on my head, and do you know what that marvelous man said to me?« asked Castle.
»Nope.«
»`Son,´ my father said to me, `someday this will all be yours.´«

Sarah wrote on May 26th 2002, 00:39:48 about

funny

Rating: 6 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

Some people find 'funny' so hard to define.

For me it is easy.

Funny makes me laugh.

lying lynx wrote on Apr 16th 2000, 16:38:16 about

funny

Rating: 6 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

Nothing is INTRINSICALLY funny, to be sure, but to me nothing is so consistently, profoundly, earth-shakingly funny as we animals in the act of mating. Reader, if you are young and would live on love; if in the flights of intercourse you feel that you and your beloved are fit models for a Phidias, for a Michelangelo – then don´t, I implore you, be so foolish as to include among the trappings of your love-nest a good plate mirror. For a mirror can reflect only what it sees, and what it sees is screamingly funny.

healer wrote on Apr 25th 2000, 11:31:58 about

funny

Rating: 3 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

Mother said, »Well, you don't want to find yourself alone with that man, because I heard from the neighbor that he is funny, and not to be trusted with children

Uh huh wrote on Nov 1st 2001, 05:37:30 about

funny

Rating: 3 point(s) | Read and rate text individually

I hit my funny bone once. It wasn't funny because that elbow really hurt. I don't know why someone decided to call the bone the humourous or was that humerus? Maybe somebody else studied Anatomy and Physiology recently and remembers how the bone was spelled in latin or something.

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