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Sex & the Devil:
Satan Really Wants You
By Rick Hall
»Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his «divine spiritual and intellectual development,» has become the most vicious animal of all!« Anton Szandor LaVey
In the year Anton LaVey decided to turn the culture upside down, heavy metal music hadn't even been invented yet. The words »Under God« had been in the U.S. Pledge of Allegiance for just three years. Hardcore pornography was still only in the form of clandestine movie reels, carefully screened in darkened basements at special »stag« gatherings, or in crumpled, furtively bartered photos. On television in April of 1966, a person couldn't even say »Hell,« unless he were preaching its existence as a threat.
Obviously, it was high time for someone to actually give 'em Hell. So this charismatic former burlesque-show organist, ex-carny animal trainer, and hypnotist found a new calling. He shaved his head according to occult tradition and publicly announced the formation of the Church of Satan. Thus was born the first aboveground order for individuals whose rational self-interest would lead them to that Dark Force in nature-the archetype the ancient Hebrews termed Satan, meaning »adversary,« »opposite,« or »accuser.« A new Satanic Age had begun. In 1969, Dr. LaVey published The Satanic Bible, a witty tome crystallizing his powerful philosophy in an entertaining mix of Ragnar Redbeard (whose classic Might is Right provided much inspiration), Ayn Rand, Nietzsche, Freud, Bierce, and W.C. Fields. Equal parts humanism and misanthropy, it attracted thousands of discerning readers to the new church of realists, the »ultimate conscious alternative to herd mentality and institutionalized thought.« Later, his erotic handbook The Satanic Witch delineated the principles of seduction and manipulation for females and the educated consumers thereof.
The infamous Black House, LaVey's San Francisco mansion, had previously functioned as a bordello in the 1800s and as a speakeasy during Prohibition. Now the site of debauches, fertility rites, and other public psychodramas during regular Friday night services, it became the epicenter of an explosive new outlook. At the beginning, the rituals functioned as cathartic blasphemies against Christianity-with elements such as the nude woman-as-altar in the traditional Black Mass, and even a specially staged Topless Witches' review. Soon, though, he tired of simply mocking the feeble opposition, and LaVey's chapel hosted brand-new and positively diabolical magical workings.
Modern Satanism may have been born in the era of free love, but the Church of Satan's founder took a broader look at individual liberation, eschewing the bland compulsions he saw as oppressing many narrow followers of the sexual revolution. The new religion demanded that each person must determine what is most fulfilling to him or herself; this might be total asexuality, or, just as easily, voracious lust. A more important development by Satanic standards was the pursuit of personal fetishes. Fetishes were celebrated as the creative expression of a personal eros, and the »Black Pope« was years ahead of the masses in recognizing their influence: »The prevalence of deviant and/or fetishistic behavior,« LaVey wrote, »would stagger the imagination of the sexually naive.« In a time when millions were suddenly seeking sexual enlightenment, the CoS attracted many by its sheer audacity. Magister Peter Gilmore relates, »Satanism provided an avenue for folks who were beginning to explore their sexuality without guilt, and the Church's position of encouraging individual fetishes, which at that time was 'forbidden sex,' provided a draw. But once they came on-board and discovered that it was up to them to do the exploration-we weren't providing sexual partners for their intended explorations, and sex wasn't emphasized beyond being a natural function-then they left to join organizations that focused on sex as their primary reason for being.«
Fear of the Devil has been used to sell the faith racket for centuries, and usually with some salaciously erotic component thrown in. Man's carnal nature is sinful from a Judeo-Christian perspective, notwithstanding comparatively recent attempts to »modernize« theism-due in no small part to the influence of Satanic thought on the culture at large. Are the followers of the Left-Hand Path a bunch of degenerate, slavering sex fiends, ritualizing dark and messy acts in sinister underground grottoes? Well, yes and no. »Satanists tend to view sexual activity as a normal function-like eating-and don't obsess on it like so many folk whose way of life limits sex to the modes sanctioned by their belief systems,« says Gilmore. »So ritualizing of sex is generally not a part of Satanism. Since we are connoisseurs of our chosen indulgences, we prefer sex in its best settings, which, in my experience, are not likely to be found in a ritual chamber-just as we'd not 'ritualize' a gourmet meal.« However, there are other approaches. On the other end of this civilized outlook is the Reverend Steven Johnson Leyba, a Native American activist, painter, and performer. A highly visible member of the CoS, the good Reverend made a big splash in his hometown of San Francisco last year when he performed a public ritual at the birthday party of Jack Davis, a political power broker. In an action by his United Satanic Apache Front, a dominatrix friend whipped Leyba, carved a bloody pentagram into his back, pissed over him, then sodomized him with a whiskey bottle-all in full view of a crowd that included the mayor. Most of the display's socio-sexual symbolism was lost on the prissy politicos, but the scandal which erupted was news fodder for weeks after the event. Leyba relished the chaotic power the ritual unleashed.
He's outspoken about his carnal quest. »My personal sexual practices tend to be very heavily masochistic, including bondage, blood loss, urine, sodomy, excrement, fetishizing tools, weapons such as guns and knives, and especially filthy panties-preferably white or lavender lace and any daisy pattern,« explains Rev. Leyba. »I am partner-based, and require monogamy for full ritualistic effect. Blood ritual has been a very powerful tool in my art; I use blood in my paintings. The only time I publicly do SM rituals is [for] political performances.«
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are all Satanists into SM? The fashion-conscious might guess so. After all, Sigils of Baphomet and similar occult symbols have invaded popular consciousness as prominent »bad boy« badges, a convenient visual shorthand right alongside leatherman and biker imagery. But the truth is not so simplistic. »Although I do believe sexual role-playing is important to many Satanists, I don't think they limit those roles to the typical SM-stereotyped situations,« says Priestess Ruth Waytz.
Gilmore agrees. »Satanists are aware of the natural balance that includes dominance/submission in sexual roles. There's no pretense of some sort of PC «sexual democracy» wherein everyone shares the same status. Church of Satan members who have not been able to throw off the sexual guilt inculcated into them during their formative years are encouraged to use this guilt as a pleasurable stimulus in their sexual activities.« Hedonism (in the sense of indulgence rather than compulsory pleasure-seeking) and the Romantic ideal are integrated in Satanic thought, much as the spirit and body are considered part of a whole-in direct contrast to the puritanism of the herd mentality. »The carnal/spiritual war which leads to this thinking is endemic in the folks we see as being Christian, whether they've embraced the Nazarene or not. Satanists are self-aware and honest about their needs,« Gilmore states flatly. When asked if the two ideas are at odds with each other, Waytz declares, »Absolutely not. Sexual hedonism and romanticism are the same thing!« The materialism of Satanic philosophy dismisses any so-called spiritual life that's divorced from, or »higher than,« physical existence.
Another point that Church writings emphasize is the issue of social stratification. LaVey was an elitist and Social Darwinist who, like Redbeard and others, railed against what he saw as the myth of »equality«: »It only translates to mediocrity, and supports the weak at the expense of the strong. Water must be allowed to seek its own level, without interference from apologists for incompetence.«
This view applies to sex as well. Gilmore puts it thus: »Maximum pleasure is realized through maximum self-awareness, and then finding the appropriate partners. Some people might find either staying within or crossing the boundaries of social stratification as a fetishistic sexual fillip.« For those folks, social divisions are a turn-on in themselves. »Others would find such stratifications meaningless.«
And yet, most Satanists find partners within their own social level to be their ideal. »The personal sexual power exchange between people of like minds is the highest form of nature taking its course,« insists Leyba, echoing the dominant view. Magister Reuben Radding adds, »I think it's important to realize that stratification already exists around us, yet it can also be created at whim. In my experience, Satanists tend to crave further stratification. But that's something you can be creative with.« One way is to create personal realms through the development of artificial human companions. LaVey was an enthusiastic proponent of such surrogates, seeing the advancing technology as the next step in man's ascendency to Godhood. And while sex is not necessarily the object of this craft, let's face it-it's the first thing you think of.
You're no doubt aware of the RealDoll, the lifelike sculptured sex doll which features, among other realistic attributes, a fully-jointed skeletal frame beneath its silicon skin. »The cathartic possibilities are limitless,« enthuses Satanist Jim Mitchell. »Many taboo and possibly illegal areas of sexuality [can] be explored with one of these androids without fear of being exposed. Suppose a man has a mate who is otherwise perfect for him but absolutely won't engage in SM or golden showers or anal sex. Maybe he wants to experience the porn-stud splendor of delivering a facial «money shot» or has dark fantasies of of a necrophilic nature. The RealDoll offers a legal and harmless means of indulging in personal fetishes that might be unattainable with breathing partners.« The design is definitely an improvement upon those deformed vinyl balloons sold in the past as sex dolls, but as Waytz says, »There is still a long way to go!« For one thing, there is pretty much one RealDoll with only slight variations, and her rather stiff posture makes her suited for little more than the aforementioned necrophile market. Also, this custom-created sculpture falls squarely in a standard »porn girl« fantasy. »With the continued perfection of computers, interactive companions will be capable of much more than is currently imagined,« Gilmore notes. »If one looks at a rack of contemporary porn, there are now many fetishes being addressed, and that betokens an acceptance of such by manufacturers-people are now more willing to openly address their needs, which really are quite varied. Virtual reality, too, is a step in the right direction of creating fantasy fulfilling devices.« And genetics research is a whole other kettle of DNA. These next few years should be very interesting indeed.
And the future's already here, as Magistra Peggy Nadramia points out. »Aside from latex inventions, I'd have to say the computer has become the foremost artificial human companion. You can look at pictures and video captures of other humans in real time, displaying their bodies and touching themselves according to your credit-card-endorsed requests. You can wander anonymously on the Internet and talk dirty with strangers. You can program your computer to analyze you, wake you up, put you to sleep, remember your likes and dislikes and generally make you the most special person in your own little universe.«
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do neophytes join the CoS for sexual reasons? »These days, if there's a sexual lure, I think it's more commonly felt among females who are attracted to the image of a strong, dominant Satanic male, the 'dark man' of their pubescent fantasies,« Nadramia states. »In a world of sensitive, New Age guys, the Satanic male is inexplicably irresistible to a generation of women who have never had a man hold a door open for them.« Although Dr. LaVey died late last year, his CoS remains strong. »Satanism will be there for those who want to responsibly explore themselves, fully aware of all the consequences of that journey, regardless of the general attitude of the societal context currently prevailing,« Peter Gilmore insists. As the social pendulum swings back and forth between permissiveness and repression, Satan will keep on doing his thing-a potent, throbbing counterpoint to those dry Medievalist religions whose soul-killing influences will continue to wane.
In the meantime, Steven Leyba relates his sexual experiences with the enthusiasm of a convert-the closest thing to proselytizing for a Church that has always taken pride in its very exclusivity. »I have had the most satisfying sex in my life. Things I thought I could only imagine, I have done. If the promise of forbidden sex within the Church of Satan was just a fancy lie, I made it a reality for myself. That is what Dr. LaVey had in mind when he wrote The Satanic Bible. You want it, you make it happen.«
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The Big Ol' Donkey Kong Character List: Singles Version
In English
This list is single characters, not those which appear multiple times in the game (Kritters, Mum-Mums, etc.). Enjoy!
UPDATED (06/28/03). REVISIONS IN BOLD
Donkey Kong (Jr.)
Diddy Kong
Cranky Kong
Funky Kong
Candy Kong
Rambi
Expresso
Enguarde
Squawks
Winky
Very Gnawty
Master Necky
Queen B.
Really Gnawty
Dumb Drum
Master Necky Sr.
K. Rool
Wild Sting
Giant Clam
Hardhat
Dixie Kong
Wrinkly Kong
Swanky Kong
Rattly
Squitter
Clapper
Glimmer
Squeaks
Flapper
Klubba
Krow
Kleever
Kudgel
King Zing
Screech
Kiddy Kong
Ellie
Parry
Bazaar Bear
Barnacle Bear
Brash Bear
Blunder Bear
Bazooka Bear
Blue Bear
Bramble Bear
Blizzard Bear
Barter Bear
Benny Bear
Bjorn Bear
Baffle Bear
Boomer Bear
Belcha
Arich
KAOS
Squirt
Bleak
Barbos
Queen Banana Bird
Mario
Luigi
Peach Toadstool
Toad (Red Spots)
Yoshi
Bowser
Wario
Lakitu
Timber
Tiptup
Pipsy
Bumper
Banjo Bear
Conker
Krunch
Taj
T.T.
Drumstick
Wizpig
Tricky
Bluey
Bubbler
Smokey
Kazooie
Tooty Bear
Roysten
Bottles
Mumbo Jumbo
Gruntilda
Klungo
Brentilda
Topper
Colliwobble
Bawl
Conga Kong
Chimpy Kong
Juju
Nipper
Leaky
Snacker
Captain Blubber
Lockup (the one you have to fly into for the Gruntilida's Jiggy)
'Lil Lockup
Clanker
Gloop
Giant Alligator
Mr. Vile
Tanktup
Boggy Bear
Groggy Bear
Soggy Bear
Moggy Bear
Wozza
Gobi
Jinxy
Rubee
Toots
Histup
Trunker
King Sandybutt
Grabba
Tumblar
Motzand
Loggo
Napper
Snorkel
Boss Boom Box
Eyrie
Nabnut
Nibblenut
Dingpot
Lardmaster 2000
Jinjonator
Cheato
Christine
Gus (»Fun« Gus)
Puff
Porto
Quarto
Pierre
Talking Parrot
Mecha Fly Guy
Capn' Shy Guy
Bubba (From Yoshi's Tropical Island)
Koopa Troopa (Red Shell)
Koopa Troopa (Green Shell)
Link
Samus
Kirby
Pikachu
Fox McCloud
Jigglypuff
Falcon (»Captain« Falcon)
Ness
Giant Donkey Kong
Master Hand
Dedede (Main Kirby Villian....seen in background in Dream Land in SSB)
Ridley (Metroid Villan....seen in background in Brinstar in SSB)
Mario Clone
Luigi Clone
Link Clone
Samus Clone
Fox McCloud Clone
Berri
Evil Acorn
Forest Guardian
Forest Wong
Hssstamean
Honker
Sol
Luxo
»Undertaker« (real name unknown)
Sheriff (real name unknown)
Dusty
Smithy
Waldorf
Ted
Swamp Fiend
Golem
Plum
Charlie
Sonny
Harry
Maple
Joe
Kid
Azalea
Sherry
Putts
Grace
Tiny
Gene Yuss
Director
The Pro
Marion Club Caddie Master
Palm Club Caddie Master
Dune Club Caddie Master
Links Club Caddie Master
Flint
Lily
Lime
Golf Guru
Clubmaker
Lanky Kong
Tiny Kong
Chunky Kong
K. Lumsy
B. Locker
Snide
Troff
Scoff
Army Dillo
Dahli
Scaver
Olmec
Scuttlebug
Krosshairs
Dogadon
Banana Fairy Princess
Mini-Kar
Glower
Pearl
Weddell
Puftoss
Jack
Booker
Hooter
Sprout
Smite
Nippy
Minecart Demon
King Kut Out
Micro Buffer
Professor Fungi
Professor Shroom
Sushi
Toad (Green Spots)
Woody
4-Player Mini-Game Tree
2 VS 2 Mini-Game Tree
1 VS 3 Mini-Game Tree
Item Mini-Game Tree
Battle Mini-Game Tree
Piranha Plant (in Mini-Game Park)
Goomba (w/Parachute)
Boo (#1)
Boo (#2)
Wiggler (From Western Land)
Steamer
Magikoopa
Mr. I
Big Boo
Giant Blooper
Bank Baby Bowser
Item Shop Baby Bowser
Marino
Daisy
Waluigi
Birdo
Paratroopa
Shy Guy (w/Tennis Racket)
Banjo's Second Goldfish
Mingella
Blobbelda
Blobbelda's Cat
Mrs. Bottles
Goggles
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King Jingaling
Master Jiggywiggy
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Heggy
Jamjars
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Honey B
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Officer Unogopaz
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Bovina
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Big Al
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Jolly Roger
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Pawno
Tiptup Jr.
Trotty
Piggles
Alph
Beti
Gammo
Chris P. Bacon
Lord Woo Fak Fak
Unga Bunga
Scrotty
Scrat
Scrit
Scrut
Chompasaurus
Terry
Stomponadon
Dippy
Weldar
Mildred
Alphette
Betette
Gamette
Biggafoot
Sabreman
Chilli Billi
Chilly Willy
Mr. Fit
George
Superstash
Guffo
Mingy Jongo
Alex
Harry
Nina
Kate
Mark
Emily
Kevin
B. Costello
A. Costello
Frank
Sammi
Sean
Spike
Elden
Ellis
Headmaster
Technique Coach
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Water Sprite
The Fabled Panther King
Birdy
The Professor
Gregg
Mrs. Queen Bee
Wayne
Nozza
Jizza
Tezza
Bazza
Jack
Marvin
Burt
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Ron
Reg
Franky
The Haybot
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Barry
Bugger Lugs
Wilma
The Brute
Carl/Quentin
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Chucky Poo
Uga Deity
Don Weazo
Bugga the Knut
Fangy
Count Batula
Rodent
Regan
The Experiment
Heinrich
Millennium Star
Tumble
Game Guy
Belltop
Gate Guy
Arrowhead
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Dorrie
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Kraid
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Roy
Pichu
Mewtwo
Mr. Game & Watch
Crazy Hand
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Krystal
General Scales
Queen Earthwalker
King Earthwalker
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Baby Cloudrunners
Chief Lightfoot
Musclefoot
Shabunga
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Garunda Te
Belina Te
ThornTail Gatekeeper
Earthwalker Warrior
HighTop Warrior
Kyte
Elder HighTop
Krazoa God
Galdon
RedEye King
Drakor
General Pepper
ROB the Robot
Andross
Note: The Donkey Kong 64 names are questionable because they were not finalized in the game. Perhaps in the future their names will be revealed, but until then we're calling them what you see above.
Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine is not affiliated with Nintendo, Rareware, Microsoft, Hudson Soft, HAL, Camelot, or MOONMAN Enterprises. Some storyline liberties have been taken, but none which contradict the scenarios set by the games. 2002-2003 Original content © http://www.dkvine.com. 1999-2002 Original content © File Two Productions
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